Like the lyrics from the Broadway musical, Annie, “Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! You’re always a day away!” and the characters in Samuel Beckett’s classic play, Waiting for Godot,
an awful lot of us spend an inordinate amount of our lives waiting for
tomorrow or for whatever the next something, someone, or somewhere is.
We wait for the phone to ring, the weekend to arrive, the invitation to come, the workday to end, the next program to start, or the trip to begin. We wait for this job to be completed and the next one to start, for the new position to open, the stock market to go up, that special person to come into our lives, and often and especially for someone else or the world we live in to change.
Yes, we live in a world of online calendars, smartphones, and touch-screen tablets on which we dutifully record or search for upcoming events –events and experiences we believe will bring us more joy; entertain us more; or make us more important, wealthier, stronger, or safer. We want what we believe will make our lives more meaningful or, at the very least, different and hopefully better. In short, a lot of us spend a lot of our time waiting for something other than whatever is currently happening, something we hope will be more interesting or more significant than whatever we perceive to be happening now.
Our hope seems to stem from the belief that these future somethings, someones, or somewhere will not only be better than whatever is going on now, but they will somehow relieve us of the underlying discomfort, anxiety, confusion, pain, suffering, and even the terror that many of us in the modern world live with either on or beneath the surface every day. Sometimes we wait for something to happen because whatever is going on feels boring or dull, ordinary or uninteresting. Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt Psychology, used to ask his students and clients who reported being bored: “Why are you boring yourself?”
At other times, whatever is happening is not boring but seems painful, complicated, challenging, or frightening and so we assume that there is another something/someone/somewhere that will be less painful or complicated, more interesting or exciting, or simpler or easier to deal with.
In short, we have a lot of assumptions and a number of expectations about that something/someone/somewhere and yet these expectations rarely, if ever, materialize. Still, like the folks who keep buying lotto tickets year after year against incredible odds and without any sign of a return, we continue to expect, assume, and wait for that something/someone/somewhere that is better and different to show up.
There is another aspect of this practice that author Earhart Tole includes in his explanation of this “waiting for something to happen” syndrome, which says that in most of these periods of waiting, we assume there is someone out there who knows more than we do or has more energy or courage or ability to take on whatever is currently troubling us. In these instances, we believe that as a result of finally finding or meeting this someone who can do this something better than we can, we will feel better, bigger, more important, safer, happier, saved, or whatever.
Perhaps you are familiar with Tolle’s “waiting for something to happen” syndrome or our version of the “tomorrow, tomorrow” complex. Perhaps you occasionally or frequently find yourself gazing longingly at the future and hoping it will be better and different than your present moment. That is certainly true for us, especially in particularly challenging or trying moments. Our anecdotal research demonstrates that this is also the case for many other people, especially people who are in the second half of life. So if it is true for you, we have a strong and clear piece of advice for you.
Stop Waiting!
Yes, stop waiting for the doctor, the lawyer, the government official, your boss, your minister, rabbi, imam, priest, guru, your exercise instructor, your best friend, parent, lover, husband, wife, or even God to save you or show you the way. Stop waiting and start paying attention to what you know and don’t know, to what you can and cannot do, and most especially to what is occurring right now in your world. For your world has within it the answer to whatever questions you may be asking. It also reminds you that “you are the one you have been waiting for,” the one and only one who will make you feel better or different. So please stop waiting and remember that all you have to do to find this answer is to have the willingness to look for it inside yourself, the wit to recognize it, the courage to trust it, and the sense to allow it to guide you
We wait for the phone to ring, the weekend to arrive, the invitation to come, the workday to end, the next program to start, or the trip to begin. We wait for this job to be completed and the next one to start, for the new position to open, the stock market to go up, that special person to come into our lives, and often and especially for someone else or the world we live in to change.
Yes, we live in a world of online calendars, smartphones, and touch-screen tablets on which we dutifully record or search for upcoming events –events and experiences we believe will bring us more joy; entertain us more; or make us more important, wealthier, stronger, or safer. We want what we believe will make our lives more meaningful or, at the very least, different and hopefully better. In short, a lot of us spend a lot of our time waiting for something other than whatever is currently happening, something we hope will be more interesting or more significant than whatever we perceive to be happening now.
Our hope seems to stem from the belief that these future somethings, someones, or somewhere will not only be better than whatever is going on now, but they will somehow relieve us of the underlying discomfort, anxiety, confusion, pain, suffering, and even the terror that many of us in the modern world live with either on or beneath the surface every day. Sometimes we wait for something to happen because whatever is going on feels boring or dull, ordinary or uninteresting. Fritz Perls, the father of Gestalt Psychology, used to ask his students and clients who reported being bored: “Why are you boring yourself?”
At other times, whatever is happening is not boring but seems painful, complicated, challenging, or frightening and so we assume that there is another something/someone/somewhere that will be less painful or complicated, more interesting or exciting, or simpler or easier to deal with.
In short, we have a lot of assumptions and a number of expectations about that something/someone/somewhere and yet these expectations rarely, if ever, materialize. Still, like the folks who keep buying lotto tickets year after year against incredible odds and without any sign of a return, we continue to expect, assume, and wait for that something/someone/somewhere that is better and different to show up.
There is another aspect of this practice that author Earhart Tole includes in his explanation of this “waiting for something to happen” syndrome, which says that in most of these periods of waiting, we assume there is someone out there who knows more than we do or has more energy or courage or ability to take on whatever is currently troubling us. In these instances, we believe that as a result of finally finding or meeting this someone who can do this something better than we can, we will feel better, bigger, more important, safer, happier, saved, or whatever.
Perhaps you are familiar with Tolle’s “waiting for something to happen” syndrome or our version of the “tomorrow, tomorrow” complex. Perhaps you occasionally or frequently find yourself gazing longingly at the future and hoping it will be better and different than your present moment. That is certainly true for us, especially in particularly challenging or trying moments. Our anecdotal research demonstrates that this is also the case for many other people, especially people who are in the second half of life. So if it is true for you, we have a strong and clear piece of advice for you.
Stop Waiting!
Yes, stop waiting for the doctor, the lawyer, the government official, your boss, your minister, rabbi, imam, priest, guru, your exercise instructor, your best friend, parent, lover, husband, wife, or even God to save you or show you the way. Stop waiting and start paying attention to what you know and don’t know, to what you can and cannot do, and most especially to what is occurring right now in your world. For your world has within it the answer to whatever questions you may be asking. It also reminds you that “you are the one you have been waiting for,” the one and only one who will make you feel better or different. So please stop waiting and remember that all you have to do to find this answer is to have the willingness to look for it inside yourself, the wit to recognize it, the courage to trust it, and the sense to allow it to guide you
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